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"My Joy Is More Full," Alma 29

Alma 29

An interesting realization is observed by Alma in these verses, for he knows that God gives to all men according to the portion of the word that He sees to be fit for them. The reason that Alma knew that to be true was because he had received that portion of the word of God that was given to his people.

In verse 4, it reads "I ought not to harrow up in my desires the firm decree of a just God..." I think I know what this means, but it's the use of the phrase "harrow up" that has me searching. Definitions of the word "harrow" are "To tear; to lacerate; to torment" or "vex". It's quite a violent word. When I searched for the word elsewhere in the scriptures, it appears usually in context of someone coming to the realization of their serious sins or as a description of war.
  • "And this great sin, and his many other sins, did harrow up his mind until it did become exceedingly sore, having no deliverance;" (Alma 15:3)
  • "But I was racked with eternal torment, for my soul was harrowed up to the greatest degree and racked with all my sins." (Alma 36:12)
  • "I, Mormon, do not desire to harrow up the souls of men in casting before them such an awful scene of blood and carnage as was laid before mine eyes;" (Mormon 5:8)
This additional insight brings to light a very interesting discussion on over-zealousness. Because as Alma continues to explain the issue with his desires, it becomes apparent that though Alma desires to declare repentance and faith in Christ with angelic force, this desire of his is not God's will. Hence, his desire, if he were to pursue it, would lead to destruction and death. On the contrary, if Alma were to align his will with God's will (which he does), he desires would produce the fruits of life and salvation. (See again vs. 4)

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This chapter has proven to be a rich well of knowledge and perspective at a season of transition in my life. I appreciate Alma's humble perspectives and acknowledgement of the Lord's guidance through commandments and of the Lord's very direct involvement in his own life and in the lives of his forefathers (whom the Lord had delivered out of bondage). That passage actually has some very personal significance this morning. I don't know why he has so blessed me. I really don't.

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I'm revisiting the second half of the chapter, for which I've not made much mention of here: starting in verse 5. I'm having to check myself to realize how much Alma is actually talking about his relationship to Christ. In these verses however, he uses the name "Lord" exclusively. As I go through reading this morning, I pause at every mention of the Lord and mentally remind myself that this is the Christ. Suddenly, this entire passage is become much more personal and rich.

Here's a couple of examples: 
...I do not glory of myself, but I glory in that which [Christ] hath commanded me - vs. 9
I'm asking myself, reminding myself of commandments that I have received of Christ and the Father.

...when I see many of my brethren truly penitent, and coming to [Jesus Christ], then is my soul filled with joy; then do I remember what [Christ] has done for me, - vs. 10
The reminders of my own conversion come when I participate in testimony meetings, and when I hear or read the testimonies of convert friends online or elsewhere.  This reminds me of my own conversion to Christ and His Gospel.

In verses 13 and 14, Alma uses the term "success" repeated. Success in what? Alma 17:4 talks of "success in bringing many to the knowledge of the truth;" Alma glories in both the success that the Lord had given him, but he goes further to say "my joy is more full because of the success of my brethren."

(How successful am I being at bringing my own family to a knowledge of the truth?)

Where Alma ends is this acknowledgement that his brethren had great success among the Lamanites, and that as he contemplated their success, it was a powerful source of joy for him, even unto the separation of soul from body, so great was his joy. (see vs. 16)

Now what we have here is Alma coming full circle. First he desired to be an angel to proclaim the terms of salvation to all. Then he recognized that his brethren had also had a part in this great work of salvation, and his gratitude for their labors was as joyful as anything that he could have experience for his own efforts.

Do I truly rejoice in the successes of my brethren, even when their efforts are more successful than my own? Does my gratitude for their success fill me with consuming joy?

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